We are learning that PTSD has such a strong grip on the subconscious mind that it makes it difficult to know how Jeremy will respond in different situations.  For Jeremy a PTSD reaction can be as simple as a fleeting thought or as severe as the urge to be destructive but he feels a level of anger that is constantly brewing in the back of his mind.  Nightmares are a routine event along with talking in his sleep and frequently Jeremy will get up and dig for "gear" in his sleep.  Repetitive ideas and scenarios can be running through his mind for days from a simple event that I would not give a second thought to yet he cannot be able to get it out of his mind.  

Our strong open communication has made it easier for us dealing with the PTSD.  Jeremy is very good about explaining what triggers a PTSD reaction and what type of reaction results from that trigger.  We work together to recognize these triggers and eliminate or minimize them as much as possible. I am learning that these triggers can be a simple sounds, smells, a physical item, or spoken phrase can trigger an unexpected PTSD reaction.  Being in crowds, in chaotic situations, or being confronted by someone with or without authority in a confrontational manor can trigger a PTSD reaction.  

It appears to me that the severity of the PTSD reaction often depends on Jeremy's current physical pain level, frame of mind at the time, level of surprise or being caught unaware, and his familiarity to his surroundings.  I am sure there are other factors I do not know that have a negative impact on his reaction to a trigger.  

Jeremy has been very gracious about sharing a little bit his experiences during the times he lived in war zones.  I know he will never share with me his most intimate thoughts and experiences during those dark days of war.  He constantly says he was the soldier not me, that it is his burden to carry not mine.  I would do anything to carry his burden for him or strike it from his memory.  

Together we strive for happiness in each other's company with our pets and hobbies.  We take each day as it comes just like our wedding vows, ....in sickness and in health.....for better or worse.......Jeremy works hard to manage his PTSD and I fight to keep us on track.......Hence His Has PTSD and I Have a Headache.  

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During our journey we are learning about some of the triggers that set his PTSD on edge.  

Here goes my first attempt at blogging about our life living with my husband's PTSD.  A little background may help.....I am fifteen and a half years older than my husband.  We meet through mutual friends that seemed to think we might hit it off.  Seventeen years later we are still together.  We have been together through one of his two deployments to war zones.  We meet a few months after the first deployment and I want to say it was love at first sight but it was much more than that.  I could see in his blue eyes everything I needed and more.  It was the first time in my life I felt I was with the right person that this man was what I wanted and needed and that I would be able to meet his needs too.  Within a year of us meeting he separated from the service with an honorable discharge. From there we moved across the country and the following year we got married.  

He has PTSD and I have a headache describes our everyday life.  He works hard to manage his PTSD and I fight a constant headache trying to keep us on track.  Only time will tell if we can keep it all together.  Some days are relaxed and we have fun together other days we just try to get through the day.  No matter the day I'm very happy to be at his side.   

Together we are on this journey to learn more about PTSD and all that goes with it.  We will share our experiences and what it has taught us along the way.  We hope you will join us.